Issue #42 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tuesday January 17, 2012
The end of our world?
It has been predicted by local scientists that the world will end by 2012. On the New Year, multitudes of beings held their breath waiting for their demise. When it never came, we all breathed out our fears and anxiety. We all believed that we were safe.
Until now. The latest news leads us to wonder 'Did we rejoice too soon?'
According to local news officials, the Goddess Mommera is planing another attack upon the gentle rat community, and this time, she means business.
Our intelligence has taken numerous notes on the Goddess's strange shopping habits, and the results have left our country in utter turmoil. The more squeamish readers may want to look away.
The question is how far will Goddess Mommera go? Let's ask some of the locals.
We found and interviewed a rat living in the backstreets of the Laundry Room who claims he actually saw the Goddess.
[Interviewer] "So I was told that you saw the Goddess just yesterday. Would you care to tell the story?"
[Vernin J.T.] "Well, I wasa in deh drum of deh laundry machine just yesterday, and ye know jest kinda sortin through. It's kinda a job ye see. Ye know, gnaw a bit here, snatch some chonies there. Real under the table ye know, wink wink? Anyhoo, I hears her I do, and quick as a light. I'm gone. Vanish inta the crack above the washer's drum. Never seen, always heard right? Well, I'm gettin old and the arthritis must be spreadin cause I hear her gasp. I look, and me bloody tail's all pokin out! Well that's not *ffin good, I think. So's she opens the lid. Man, all females look tiny compared to this lady. She be HUGE and there's these little crackles lectricity runnin from her eyes! So she leans over and she screams. I've never heard somethin more shittdang terrifying. I took off- BAM! And left her shakin."
Well there you have it.
The second Purge may be on it's way.
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That concludes this issue of Rat Weekly.
News from a rat's view.
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