YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT A SQUIRREL

[WARNING!! If you are squeamish, you may not want to read this. Go here instead. http://xtremechibiface.blogspot.com/2011/12/of-glitter-smart-assery-and-mothers.html ]

I saw something yesterday that completely changed my image of hair care products, grains, and childbirth. For the worse.

Folks, I give you *drumroll* placenta shampoo.

 And if you don't believe me?
http://www.target.com/p/La-Bella-34-fl-oz-Placenta-Shampoo/-/A-12877818#?lnk=sc_qi_detailbutton

Now, before you retch, please know that this is just a brand name. As far as I know, it does not consist of real placenta. Anyhoo, I was walking through Target with my Mom (reading Talisman in a fear induced haze) when I was jerked back into this reality by my Mom's disgusted cry of "PLACENTA?" I was confused, and thought that she said plolenta, which is a delicious dish made with cornmeal. It was weird that people would put it in their hair, but hey. Then I realized that she said placenta and I got an entirely different image. I put the book down and walked over cautiously. It said placenta all right. We stood there in a stupor, just staring. Then Mom did the unthinkable. She walked over, unscrewed the cap and smelled it. Now, I must tell you that my Mom is quite squeamish, and a complete germaphobe. She does, however, have a strange compulsion to smell disgusting things. Like that one time my Dad's rancid boxers were lying on the floor and she sniffed them to see if they were dirty...... Yeah.

Anyway, she reeled back and gagged several times. She proclaimed it thoroughly disgusting, and I snapped a picture for you guys. Then we walked away slowly. After a brief period of time, we started making Rat Race jokes. We got a lot of stares as we walked down isles whispering "For her.... PLANENTAAAAAAAA." in a throaty voice.

We get along so well.


 PS!! I realize that many of you have not seen Rat Race, and so you don't get the references.
The squerrel thing is here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfgELYaSYhM
And the "PLANENTAAAAAAAA" thing is here.
[WARNING!! May not be work/family friendly due to the title.]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6bOIwELknc&feature=related