Friday, April 27, 2012

YUP- Atset Kcuhc!

The mysterious necromancer of Ojai Valley, Atset Kcuhc has been spotted again. Armed with dark necromancer skills, a defibrillator, and connections with the black market, he has discovered a way to restore life to once-stuffed creatures.

He is rumored to travel around in a john deer tractor, bringing his horde of restored animals with him and parking to sleep in random fields.

We have reason to believe that he attempts to keep Chuck Testa's business afloat using questionably legal methods. Just last month, Chuck opened his door to find a small bag of dead animals (which seemed to have been killed by a  large vehicle) and this note:

"Why he wrote that baffles me." Comments Chuck. "He left it ON the porch."
Why does he want to keep Chuck's business afloat? We have reason to suspect that he resurrects our local taxidermist's stuffed animals on a regular basis. Chuck has complained that Atset Kcuhc busts into his workshop about once a week, raids his collection of already stuffed animals, and leaves the stuffing littered everywhere. After several of these raids, Chuck installed a security camera in his workshop. The next week, he captured footage of the necromancer removing the stuffing from a large bear, shoving a metal skeleton up inside, adding organs, and then using a defibrillator on it. After a few waves of current, and to Chuck's immense horror and shock, the bear rolled over, stood, and followed Atset outside. Before he could share the video, he came home to find it lying crushed upon his kitchen floor with muddy hoof-prints leading away.
Chuck described Atset as being 'tall, with shaggy dark hair, a top hat, long striped sleeves and bell bottom pants, and a long black tailcoat.' He says that he couldn't see his face.

The big question is, what are Atset Kcuhc's motives? Is he just fond of restored animals? Or is something far more sinister at play?

Will "Yup-Atset Kcuhc!" become a new meme? Follow XTREMEchibiFace!! and check back for more!
Coming up soon: What do the rats think about all this?

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