I'm Batman....

I rose early this morning (9:21) to set up the house for D&D at 12:00 PM, when I found that I was severely dehydrated. Alena started screaming "No!" repeatedly, then woke up and started telling me about a dream where her character died. I told her that it was just a dream, but I was so dehydrated I was only able to produce quiet raspy vocal tones. So I made do with what i had.
I practiced the Batman voice. It was awesome. (But it did have a sort of Cookie Monster ring to it....XD)

So I came up with a new proverb.
"When life gives you dehydration, make Batman voices."

12:00 AM

Around midnight, my urge to write fanfiction, usually just a minor bugging at the back of my brain, turns into a full blown obsession and renders me unable to sleep.
Stupid fangirl urges. XI

Ultimate power

Aah yes. The holidays just keep getting more and more magical.
Cooper gave me a spiral D20 necklace! Not only is it totally rocking in athletics, it can be removed from it's holder to wreak plastic 20 faceted doom upon my foes!!
Behold it's majesty.

D&D Chess

I just accomplished something great. I designed my first rules for playing a D&D-based chess game.
I've been wanting to do this ever since I saw Bill Amend's Foxtrot comic with the boys playing a similar game.

To make matters even more epic, I just got an old handcarved chess set from my Grandpa!
Bask in the geekyness. =^.^=

HEALING!! =D

Good news everyone! You're making a special delivery to the death plane- wait. Wrong line. Lemme start over.
Good news everyone! My finger is healing!! =D
I removed the splint and bandages last night! It still feels a bit numb after the cut, and it twinges if I bend my finger, but it's all sealed up!!
HUZZAH!!!

PS! I also learned the Klingon salute! I asked my Grandpa and he knew. You put your right fist up to your chest near the shoulder. Cool huh? XD

LOOT

Ah yes. Christmas. A time to remember what really matters. (or at least pretend to through media programming) LOOT. And man, did I score today. My sister and I each got a N-Strike Raider Rapid Fire CS-35. AKA: A really big freekin nerf gun. Courtesy and blunder of my Dad.
Oh! And we got cool mobster hats! =D
Every Christmas should be spent speaking like you just walked out of the Godfather, shooting down family members (payback for the fact that they only got you socks last Christmas), and making your father scream like a little girl. =^.^=

Qapla'!
Sleep with the fishes.

Ouchy.

I cut my finger today. It stings. =(

I was whittling something for my Mom, and I learned that whittling knifes should always have locking mechanisms. Anyway, I asked for some help from Dad, and he helped me with it. For some reason, when I saw it, I instantly began to feel lightheaded. Then I felt really heavy and in a couple seconds, I had almost lost conciseness. Dad said that it was because I saw the blood, but it really wasn't that much, and I've seen, felt, and read about a whole lot worse. Yet there I was, holding my flesh together and trying to form thoughts as grey fog clung to me. I was fine pretty quickly, but then I had to sit there pressing a rubbing alcohol-soaked cotton ball to it for at least a half hour. (which felt more like 10 minuets, strangely enough) Feeling came back about halfway through, and got to feel stabbing pains. (yay!) I thought that I'd definitely have to superglue it, but Dad says that it'll heal properly. Now it's bandaged up, and I just feel dull pain. I'm supposed to keep it straight, but it's harder then it seems. Maybe I should make a splint.

You know, even though I'll have to fight off infection and hand-grabby people, I find it quite interesting seeing how my brain works under pain. I didn't panic. I just held it together, got my Dad, and headed into the bathroom. I even remembered to cling on to conciseness! =D Now I just need to work on the whole not fainting thing.....

It was actually pretty good timing! Nothing to do today, and Aikido opens back up on the 2nd next month, so it doesn't have to be opened back up by finger twisting.

Although now I need to come up with a gift for my Mom.....

Hang loose! And always work with sharp knifes with locking handles. =^.~

PS!! I just realized that I have succeeded in curbing my bad language! Not one obscenity was uttered throughout the whole escapade! Not even when feeling returned! HUZZAH!!! XD

YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT A SQUIRREL

[WARNING!! If you are squeamish, you may not want to read this. Go here instead. http://xtremechibiface.blogspot.com/2011/12/of-glitter-smart-assery-and-mothers.html ]

I saw something yesterday that completely changed my image of hair care products, grains, and childbirth. For the worse.

Folks, I give you *drumroll* placenta shampoo.

 And if you don't believe me?
http://www.target.com/p/La-Bella-34-fl-oz-Placenta-Shampoo/-/A-12877818#?lnk=sc_qi_detailbutton

Now, before you retch, please know that this is just a brand name. As far as I know, it does not consist of real placenta. Anyhoo, I was walking through Target with my Mom (reading Talisman in a fear induced haze) when I was jerked back into this reality by my Mom's disgusted cry of "PLACENTA?" I was confused, and thought that she said plolenta, which is a delicious dish made with cornmeal. It was weird that people would put it in their hair, but hey. Then I realized that she said placenta and I got an entirely different image. I put the book down and walked over cautiously. It said placenta all right. We stood there in a stupor, just staring. Then Mom did the unthinkable. She walked over, unscrewed the cap and smelled it. Now, I must tell you that my Mom is quite squeamish, and a complete germaphobe. She does, however, have a strange compulsion to smell disgusting things. Like that one time my Dad's rancid boxers were lying on the floor and she sniffed them to see if they were dirty...... Yeah.

Anyway, she reeled back and gagged several times. She proclaimed it thoroughly disgusting, and I snapped a picture for you guys. Then we walked away slowly. After a brief period of time, we started making Rat Race jokes. We got a lot of stares as we walked down isles whispering "For her.... PLANENTAAAAAAAA." in a throaty voice.

We get along so well.


 PS!! I realize that many of you have not seen Rat Race, and so you don't get the references.
The squerrel thing is here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfgELYaSYhM
And the "PLANENTAAAAAAAA" thing is here.
[WARNING!! May not be work/family friendly due to the title.]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6bOIwELknc&feature=related

My first Real-Life Minion!! =D

I got a Minion!!! =D =D =D =D

I've always had many imaginary Minions, and my altar egos have always had a great number of Minions, but I've never received a real, flesh and blood, human one.

There's this really cute little kid at my school who randomly gives hugs to students. Yesterday, she seemed to take a liking to me (despite my greatest efforts to convince the kindergartners that I'm off my rocker) and she stayed by my elbow and growled at anyone who passed. She seemed pretty devoted and I was curious what she could do, and how big her vocabulary was. My little sister N has this thing where she keeps poking me and caressing the back of my neck with her super-long nails. She's cute, but really. I jump out of my skin every time. So N came creeping up to me, and I saw this as a chance to test my new Minion. I looked down at her, pointed to N, and said "sic' em!" She responded pretty fast. She got in front of a giggling N and started blocking her. She was pretty darn good. N left somewhere else for a brief time and my Minion returned. Later, when I was playing with N, I told her to not attack, and she didn't!

I think that this will work out just fine. =D

PS!! It turns out that I'm in a joint Minionship with Cooper and my other friend. We're both his Minions, but I also serve Coop. It's a pretty awesome arrangement. =)

Thank you.

Okay. The road has been lang and hard for you, but it was worth it.

COMMUNITY HAS A GOOD POSSIBILITY OF GETTING BACK ON!!!!!! =D =D =D =D

And to celebrate, someone has posted a downright epic pic made by kinjamin from DeviantART.

http://kinjamin.deviantart.com/art/AbedIsJokerNow-273577822

Thank you, and long live Community!! =D

The things I do for fun... Part 1

Hey humanoids!! (.......Or not. WE SHALL SOON SEE. nyehehehh....)
I just added a poll to my blog! =D
It's right between my "Minion List"* and "Other epic blogs and sites!!"
Be sure to vote. And choose wisely! Because my deciding whether or not you're a replicant may rest upon one click....

....So no pressure! =^^=

* Ahh yes. My Minion List. Join it, and we will rule the internet like blogger and follower!! }=D

Please save Greendale!

Hello all you Community fans out there! You have probably heard this by now, but Community is in danger of being canceled. To help keep it on the air, please tell everyone you know about the show, and post #savecommunity wherever you can! =^^=


Here's more info! =^.~
http://www.reddit.com/r/community/comments/n4w3a/tonight_we_save_greendale/

Also, Hulu has episodes live-streaming for free! =D
http://www.hulu.com/search?query=Community&st=0&fs=

Qapla'! Many epic shows in your future. =)

Of glitter, smart-assery, and Mothers

I was watching my Dad's girlfriend and my sister unpack Christmas ornaments the other day, when I caught sight of something so horrible, I literally reeled back in disgust. GLITTERY CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS. Now, I love Christmas. I love the colors, the cheesy decorations, the cold days (it helps me remember just how much I love the heat), drinking tea and reading Calvin and Hobbes... I love Christmas, but there are 3 things I don't like.

  1. Cut-down Christmas trees (I probably won't go into this one... Let's just say that feeling a tree die is heart breaking.)
  2. Christmas music (Most of it anyway. The H.P. Lovecraft stuff though? Pure gold.)
Aaaand
  3. Tinsel and, by extension, Glitter.
Yes, you heard me. Glitter.

Anyway, as I edged away from the shiny little plastic flecks of pure chaos and hate, I wondered (as I always do whenever I see them) exactly WHY I dislike them. (Glitter and vampires.... Wait. I think I see a correlation here... O_O) I mean, glitter didn't really do anything to hurt me...
So I thought way back.

This is what I remembered.
Aside from that one time where my Mom's friend's kid dumped a container of glitter on my head (the little twerp was about 6 at the time, so I couldn't whoop his butt), I have only had ONE Glitter Incident. Here it is.

The Great Glitter Incident of 2000.

I was a downright contrary little 4 year old. I was voluntarily literalistic, snobbish, rude, smart-assed, stubborn (extra stress on this), temperamental, and utterly brilliant.
My poor Mother, oh my poor poor Mother. She was THE BEST MOM EVER. (did already I mention this?) She put up with my shit (literally and figuratively), she put up with my Dad's shit (also in both senses. [She wants to add that there was considerably more vomit]), she bathed us, clothed us, put a roof over our heads, and she loved us. (I should also mention that Dad did (and still does) all this too.)
Despite all this, mothers have a breaking point. I found hers on numerous occasions (this being the number one job of a 4 year old), but this was the only time I was actually AFRAID of my Mother.

It was a hot Summer day. I home school, so I did my work through the Summer in our roofed patio. My Mom was having me work off of a home-made worksheet (lovingly hand-written by her [WITH illustrations. I KID YOU NOT.], and one of my greater arch-nemesi), and I was not having it. I hated having to sit, I hated having to focus, and I hated being watched as I worked. I, taking any opportunity to piss off my wonderful, loving Mother, decided that I'd write the answers to the addition problems AS BIG AS I COULD.
Que the patient sigh. "Rahel, you need to make it smaller." My writing got BIGGER.
My Mom heaved a slightly more annoyed sigh. "No, Rahel. SMALLER."
I paused. She wanted smaller? I'd give her smaller.
About this small. *
Thus having destroyed the (hand-designed!) worksheet (and, in the process, my Mother's patience), we moved on to the less-stressful arts and crafts.
Arts and crafts were (and still are) a big part in our family. My Mom is the craft QUEEN and we always had little papery scraps and whatnot littering our house. Today's craft was something seasonal. I don't really remember what I was supposed to make, but I know that it integrated pieces of my other subjects (like writing poetry, diagramming the affects of certain chemicals when mixed together, and little snippets of things like "temporary means it goes away, and permanent means it stays forever.") What I remember most about it, however, was the glitter and feathers. It had lots of glitter and feathers. My Mom pointed out a spot that still needed glittering. I threw her a sideways look. She wanted more glitter? I could do that.... I should mention that I bore NASTY grudges, and I remembered little things with finite detail. (More on that in a later post.) And I was still sore about that math. She wanted glitter? I'd give her more glitter. Heck, she could have the WHOLE BOTTLE. Out it gushed.
At this point, my Mom was incredibly exasperated, and nearly loosing her cool. Her jaw set. After grieving for the late handcrafted lesson in her own way (which involved closing her eyes, breathing deeply, and counting to ten), she spared me a peeved look before bending over the table to blow away the stray flecks. I instantly felt bad. She was just trying to teach me. She thought that it was important. I really had no reason to try and set her off. So I decided to help with the glitter cleanup. I should mention at this point that I was seated across the table from her. *evil cackle* I was really just trying to help. I swear. I didn't know that the hateful little sparkley razors flew so well..... Or were so sharp.
I remember very well the cloud of glitter rising, blown away by my over-exuberant breath. (I should also mention that I had an insane lung capacity. And I'm talking INSANE.) I remember her drawing in a startled breath as the cloud engulfed her. It was almost comical. Until the cloud fell away like a curtain and I saw her face. Horror struck. I doubt that I will ever be able to describe the look on her face. It burned, nay drilled into my brain, letting me know just how livid she was with me at that moment. I was never so afraid of her. The time she popped my red balloon (what she describes as her 'lowest point'?) Not as scary. The time I peed on my bed in pure defiance of being put on a time out? Not even close. But this, THIS, was utterly terrifying. I probably would have pissed my pants if I wasn't frozen in my seat, calculating the probability that I'd live this escapade. Could I run? Nope. She was too close. Could I hide? No, she was right there. Could I apologize? Definitely not. Snapping her out of her angry paralysis would be most unwise.
I don't remember what I did, and neither does my Mom, but I can guess that my Dad (Goddess bless his soul) took over. I vaguely remember him giving me a talking to about doing math, listening to my mother, and being VERY. CAREFUL. WITH. GLITTER. Especially around Mom. I can just picture him walking in on the scene. Me, about to lose my bodily functions, trapped like a rodent in a snake's eyes. Mom, fit to spontaneously combust in a flurry of poison and fire, sending a coating of glitter around the room like festive ninja stars.
Definitely one for the yearbooks.







* Unfortunately, blog spot's fonts are relatively normal-sized. Big was about 2" high, and bigger was 3". Small was minuscule. And by minuscule, I mean about 1 millimeter tall. Seriously. I was INSANE.

Tiz the season

To compete for the title of 'Biggest Geek'! =D

Qapla'!/Good luck!
=^.~

(I found this on http://www.foundshit.com/tag/star-trek/ )

Of Smurfs and Pies

I read somewhere that Geeks will do many things for pie. I even saw a chart specifying the amount and quality necessary to bribe a Geek into actions of varying degrees of difficulty. (For example, dressing nicely and having tea with one's mother)
I was curious. I would do quite a lot for pie.... I love the stuff! If you ask me, Pie>Cake. Yes, I favor pie over god pounding cake. (Oh yes! I'm reading 'Talisman' by Steven King and Peter Straub. SO TOTALLY EPIC.) It rules THAT MUCH.
Anyhoo, I asked around and it would seem as if the 'pie rewards' theory doesn't really work that well. I asked Cooper if he liked pie, and he said that he didn't especially like it, and that he only really likes pumpkin pie anyway. =^^=
I also asked my Dad, and he said that he didn't like pie enough to take it as payment for anything... Oh well. n_n;

Also, while we're on the subject of pies, it turns out that Gargamel is not trying to make a pie out of the Smurfs. Cooper and his little sister Hazel (one of the cutest kids on the planet, by the way.) explained that he's trying to harness their magical powers... I read that he originally planned to eat them, then wanted to use them to create gold. When he's really mad he wants to destroy them....
This comes as a shock to me. I always assumed that he wanted to make blueberry Smurf-pies out of them.... 4_4;