On the Subject of Marriage and Relationships

First off, I want to say that I started this from the viewpoints of a woman with a male domestic partner in mind. By the end though, I had pretty much thrown out gender specifics and just stuck to the core dynamics of marriage. I like it better this way, but I decided to not bother with changing the first half.

Second off, I just want to say that I do not identify as a feminist. I identify as having a pan viewpoint. I believe that to achieve equality, one has to support all genders and viewpoints. I may agree with many feminist viewpoints, and I agree that to promote equality, one must add some weight to one side of the scale, but that being said, wouldn't it be better to dismiss the scale completely? Just ignore it all and let the pieces fall where they may?
Maybe. The only problem is that our society is based on rules and segregations. One would have to remove oneself from society's standards to uphold this viewpoint, which would mean acknowledging that society is a segregation in itself, which would put us in another little box.
Here's my take on the world: Everything is what you make of it. It can be whatever you want. I choose to live in a world that honors other people's viewpoints and still holds a place for my own. I choose to live in a world that allows and supports different people. Different ideas. Different ways of being. I choose to let these differences define us, separate us, and yet ultimately drive us closer together.

I also choose to live in a world were I can rant all I want on my own blog.
And that's what I'm gonna do right now.

[WARNING: Ranting ahead!]

*Ahem.*

Over the years, women in our society have been offended at being portrayed as housewives. TV shows such as 'I Dream of Jeannie' come quickly to mind as an example of how this portrayal was often showed in the media.
Now, after a large feminist movement, women are expected by many to hold jobs previously held by men as well as take care of her household in order to be seen as strong individuals by society.
Many women are pleased by this change, but perhaps just as many are rather peeved.
"Now we have to hold jobs as well as do housework!" My Mother proclaimed last week as we discussed the subject. She also mentioned that it might work if men were capable of taking care of a household in the first place.

In response to the WHOLE issue about roles (although not necessarily gender roles) in marriage, I have a few points to make.

1. Many men are capable of taking care of households. Granted, most of them don't choose to be, and some of them just aren't, but MANY are.

2. A healthy relationship is built off of understanding and respect. Before you enter a serious relationship, you must first understand what you are actually capable of. Can't hold the role of both the housekeeper and breadwinner of a family? Choose one or the other. Then be sure that if/when you enter a serious relationship, your partner can and wants to uphold a compatible role.
For example: You want a family. You don't want to work and raise kids. Let's just say you choose to be the one to raise kids. YOU MUST MAKE SURE THAT PARTNER CAN EARN ENOUGH MONEY TO SUPPORT SAID KIDS.
Failure to do so will rest squarely on your shoulders, as well as on your partner's. (Note! both partners can raise kids, but in this example, let's assume that only wants to.)

I cannot count the many times I've heard a wife complain about her husband. "He never changes the baby!" "He doesn't do the dishes!" "He's always caught up in his work!" Or, my favorite: "He doesn't respect me!"
I understand that it often helps people to vent about things, and that talking about one's issues out loud can actually help in problem solving. My problem is when people DON'T solve their issues and instead use their venting to complain and shift blame.
Each time this happens, I have to bite back a scream of exasperation and anger. Today, I will relinquish my my hold on this scream and bare it to the world.

Your job as a family raiser is to be sure that you and your partner are able to effectively and happily carry out your predetermined roles in the family. (predetermined not by society, but by both of you when you embarked upon this relationship in the first place.) Your roles may change later on, but you and your partner must ALWAYS be on the same page.
To all you complaining people out there: YOU chose this person. YOU chose this relationship. YOU decided to take up your role. IF you need to change said role, DISCUSS it with your partner. They should listen, and it should work. IF IT DOESN'T? You made an awful choice when choosing a partner.
PLEASE. Stop ranting about your marital issues in front of 15 year olds who are trying to work. It's not that I mind listening to you and helping you, it's just that it gets REALLY frustrating to me when you keep coming to the same relationship block and do NOTHING about it.
Shut up. START FIXING YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

[Rant is officially over.]

NOTE: When I read this to my Mom, she instantly thought my rant applied to her. That is NOT the case.
I wrote this no one particular in mind.
If you think that this applies to you, then GOOD. Not only have I got this whole rant off my chest, I've also given you something to think about.


....SIGH. Wow.
That was a relief. You have no idea just how exasperating and positively mind-blowing it is to realize that most people around me (especially the adults!) just don't take this kind of thing into consideration. They start relationships, breed, find themselves stuck in a marriage, and THEN start doing research about the other person. Simply astonishing. =^.~

...JEEZ, that's a HUGE CRAPPIN post!! O__O
I am amazed that you made it this far!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!
<3 <3