Reading Anxieties

Ever since I was about 8, I've been bothered by something:
Is there such a thing as a perfect book?
If so, where can I get it? Who wrote it? What title would befit such a work? And to whom would it been seen as perfect? Most importantly, how could I ever read it?  My perfect book, already read and gone over. I'd have already screamed at every suspenseful chapter, heaved a relieved sigh at every narrow escape, nodded knowingly every time my favorite character said something witty and meaningful. The pages would have been smeared with tears and grass stains, bird's feathers would have been pressed between chapters, chapter 42 would have a little smiley face.
I would hold so many unforgotten, reopened, and revised memories that just looking at the cover would bring back a torrent of tastes and feelings. It would be painful. It would hurt. And yet I'd keep on reliving and adding, relishing every mixed moment of pain and joy- like pulling out teeth before they're quite ready.
This perfect book would be so complete, no amount of fanfiction or spinoffs would ever lend comfort, however small, after it was over and done with. It would be so heart achingly perfect that I wouldn't ever be able to stop thinking about it. I'd read it over and over again, attaching my life so seamlessly to it that I actually manifest within it - just another spellbound word on a page.


I soon realized that finding the perfect book would not be good (not to mention actually reading it). It sounds like it would be quite detrimental to my health. =)