Navidad: Raccoon Puncher

My cat, Navidad, used to be feral. My Mom caught and spayed her and her sister when they were little and named them Feliz and Navidad (probably because they had their reproductive organs removed on Christmas and they scratched her up pretty badly). Feliz was always the nice one, so of course she got eaten first. Navi, on the the other hand, wasn't so nice and she's still with us today (maybe I'm supposed to take something from this?), and man. She is still a fighter. Last night, a raccoon came up and ate her food right in front of her. She was pissed, but this was a pretty good sized raccoon- about four times her size. She didn't care. She, being the arrogant old freak she is, came up right next to it and SMACKED its face. Several times.

Fortunately for her, the raccoon just didn't seem to care. It just looked at her like "Dude, what's your problem?" and Mom scared them both away.

This little furball is fearless. She's like a fat, toothy little tornado of piss and arrogance, ready to show up on your porch and kick raccoon ass. Or yours.

NAVIDAD: RACCOON PUNCHER.

This little fatso will kick your raccoon's ass. Then eat all your cat food.

I'd breed her and create an army (and with it, millions of dollars.... Meeeeelions- mwahahah), but as explained earlier, this isn't an option. .....So I'll just have to clone her.

Yeah. That sounds awesome.


PS!! I knew that it's hard to take pics of cats, but NAVI is something else. She would stare at the camera then look away AS SOON AS I WENT TO TAKE A PIC. XDD

Connections Lost- An Open Letter

Sometimes I feel as if our relationship is strained.
It's like you no longer want to connect.
I've tried to refresh our connection over and over again
But you still give me that blank look
As if I've done something wrong.
Sometimes when I try to do something, you lag behind and leave me waiting.
I thought that you liked the Colbert Report.
I've stared at my screen for so long
Sitting on the edge of my seat
Waiting for you to give me some sign
That everything's all right
But you still don't show.
It's like you just don't wan't to do anything anymore.
Sometimes I have the urge to just disconnect
And join some other damn network.

Old Politics: Santorum Vs. Colbert

[WARNING. Santorum-bashing and minor cussing ahead! If you like this guy, please don't read. If you fail to heed this warning and become offended, I just want to say. "I TOLD YOU SO, YOU BASTARD! BUT DID YOU LISTEN?? NOOooooO."]

I want to talk politics today. I'm 6 years late with this one, but I'd still like to talk about it.

It would seem as though Rick Santorum is trying to appeal to the huge percentage of geeks in America.

...He failed. Big time.

" As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else. It's being drawn to Iraq and it's not being drawn to the U.S."

Yeeeeeah. Sorry dude, but you just made my contempt for you rise considerably. I mean, sure. This is just some dude who is ignorant about LOTR. If one of my family/friends had said this, I would sit in shock for a moment, collapse, hide my face and sob in shame, then I'd sit back up and explain their horrifying mistake. Although my faith in their Geekiness would be a wee bit tarnished, I'd still love them. I'd forget about it and move on. It's just what family does. SANTORUM, however? I didn't respect him in the first place, and now I see this. I am never gonna to forget about this one. Sorry, asswipe. This one's gonna haunt you forever.

My faith in Steven Colbert, however, just skyrocketed.
Gurth gothrim Tel'Steven Colbert! We will stand and fight beside you, Mr.Colbert.

Apples and How They Apply to Spinal Tap

Note to self (and, as it seems, to the entire world):  Make song about apple-themed fruit wraps. Hopefully to the tune of 'Sex-Farm Woman' (whoah, now THERE'S a word I didn't expect to write on my blog!) by Spinal Tap. Or something.
(I got an apple-themed fruit-rap.... I mean wrap. Or maybe that too. I need sleep.)

Note  to self: Don't leave yourself notes on your publicly-viewed blog at 3:28 AM.

Master/Slave

Sometimes I'm sure that I'm crazy.
I just spent about half an hour searching for a good pic of the master/slave ports (channels? IDE controllers. I don't remember.) just so that I could make a cheap joke in the caption.

....Yeeeah.

I Am Hyper and Insecure Right Now

 I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO.

That is all.

Coffee Brain pt1

[WARNING! Raw stream of consciousness run on coffee. You have been warned.]

DUDE. You could assign a different note for every key on your keyboard, so that when you type, it makes cool music. WAIT. Then everyone would know what you're typing. IT COULD BE USED TO SEND MESSAGES!!! Awesome.

I don't have Village People on my iPod!!
...That is NOT COOL.
I also need more Queen. Listening to 'Pressure' over and over again ain't cutting it. (Even if it DOES have Bowie. That's pretty darn epic.)

DANCING IN THE STREETS!!
'Nuff said.

I woke up at 6:30, drank two cups of coffee, and studied for tomorrow's CHSPE!!

COFFE COFFE COFFE COFFE.

Don't drink coffee, kids.

Brains are awesome.

I should get a Twitter!! =D

My laptop fried. It overheated. I miss her. T_T

HEDWIG IS DEAD!!!!
...The owl. Not the german one. WHICH REMINDS ME!!! Why do I always get Hedwig and the Angry Inch stuck in my head every time I go into a department store??? I can't sing it in public and I know all of the lyrics.... IT IS HORRIBLE.

DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Darn, I forgot.

Coffee's wearing off.

OH GOD, RAY BRADBURY IS DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Noooooooooooo........ T.T


DUDE, XKCD!!!!!




Okay, that's about it. Coffee's almost out of my system. XDD
WAIT. One more burst.
SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, I'm done. XDD

CREEDTHOUGHTS!!!!

Arachnids

I just learned something terrible.

Solifugae and Opiliones are arachnids, scorpions are not solifugae (they belong to the family Scorpiones), and now I can't claim that I'm not triggering people's arachnophobia by showing them camel spiders.
My life is ruined.

MY FATHER LIED TO ME!!!!
I thought that the arachnid family was much smaller.

....Okay, it's pretty crappin cool that there are so many arachnids, but DUDE. I feel so betrayed. HOW COULD I NOT KNOW??????????????????
Major Geek Point loss.






..... *Ahem.*
PWAHA!!!!!

Ninclowns

I just realized something terrifying.
Mimes are a cross between clowns and ninjas.

Think about it!
What are the two things that clowns and ninjas share in common? They both terrifying. However, this quality manifests itself in vastly different ways when you work with vastly different creatures.
You see, clowns are scary in an in-your-face kind of way. Ninjas are the exact opposite. They're scary in a dum-de-dum-walking-home-from-work-ohcrapaninja-DEAD!!! kind of way.
Both terrifying, right? The question is, what if you take key elements in these different styles and then add them together? The answer? MIMES.
Yes, that's right. When one takes the most terrifying aspects of two* of the most terrifying creatures known to humankind and smashes them together (the smashing itself probably involving quite a bit of setting fire to nursing homes, sacrificing puppies, and jaywalking) we get MIMES.

See for yourself.

Color
C=wild colors
c=neutral colors

Tact
T=subtle
t=up-in-your-face

(We may assume that both clowns and ninjas have the potential to be deadly and/or evil.)

Clown
Ct

Ninja
cT

	C	t
c	Cc	ct
T	CT	Tt

As you can see, when you cross a clown with a ninja, you may get one of these things:
Cc- A Chameleon Ninclown or Shifting-Color Ninclown (very confusing and difficult to look upon)
CT- A Colorful Ninclown (they make up for their eye-drawing colors by being especially deadly)
Tt- A Bipolar Ninclown. (pretty much exactly what it sounds like.)

ct- A Silent Ninclown (commonly known as a Mime) (puts up a wall of invisibility, follows you home, hides under your bed, then silently jumps out and stabs you with an invisible stake-knife. Then mimes eating your heart.)

Yeah.

....... France is so screwed.

_________________________________

*Notice that I didn't say THE most. Just TWO of the most. Not even the top two. Sharks are probably scarier.

......OH NO.


PS!! Please don't chase me with pitchforks and fire if this punnet square is incorrect. I've had enough of THAT from the local villagers already. (I mean 'cmon! Just because I have a strange urge to chase rabbits and howl at the moon about once a month doesn't mean that you have to try and KILL me!! And seriously. Silver bullets?? They don't really do all that much better then the regular lead ones.)

AHEM.
Anyway, tracing clown and ninja genes is HARD. Do you know what I have to go through to get blood samples of CLOWNS?? On a good clownnapping you sneak up behind it, hit it over the head with a shovel, then put it into a body bag and then into your trunk without being seen. Then when you get back and open the bag, it's usually awake and you have to avoid the chloroform-soaked rag thrusted into your face and beat it into dazed submission. (IF it doesn't actually turn out to be the joker. [If THAT'S the case, then just pray that you don't have a heart attack when he sits up and proclaims "Or maybe alive??"])

Don't even get me STARTED on the ninjas.

Voynich Manuscript

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOOOOODDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
....I need to get my hands on a copy of this.

PS!! I couldn't help but feel a small twinge of pride when I immediately recognized the book just from the first panel. =}

[The image used in this post belongs to Randall Munroe. Randall is the creator of the webcomic xkcd, to which I own absolutely no rights.]

Telecommunication

I got to talk to another human on the telephone today.
You see, we have a land-line. It rings ALL the time, although it's usually an automated message on the other end or a strange silence. I picked up the phone today and heard the latter.
"Mrrr." I said and went to put down the phone. Then I heard a beep and there was someone on the other end. Our resulting conversation is as follows.

(R=Rahel; D=Dude)
R: "Meh?"
D: "Oh, hello. Is this the See-wall family?"
R: "You're a human!"
D: "I try."
R:"Oh my goodness! This is amazing!"
D: "Uhm well yes. Anyway-"
R: "Hold on. I really don't feel like listening to a sales-call right now, but I do want to tell you. This is so weird! You're somewhere in a crowded room with a microphone and I'm sitting alone in my house."
D: "Uh, yeah-"
R: "And it's just so amazing! I don't know you and you don't know me, but we're talking right now. And when I hang up the phone, you'll be gone."
D: "....Yeah. Are your parents home?"
R: "Yeah, but they're busy."
D: "Oh."
R: "Well listen. Have a great day!! Bye!"
*click*

My life will never be the same again. THERE ARE PEOPLE AFTER THE SILENCE. I CAN TALK TO THEM.
Of course, this poses a couple problems for me.
I want to talk to these people, but if I answer the phone and wait for the beep, then they probably have me on record as being someone who listens to their sales-calls. Also, I don't want to waste anybody's time. They are people too, and they are paid by the sale not the hour. Fortunately, I can fix that last one. As soon as they try to pitch the sale, I'll cut them off with "Hi! Listen, I really don't want to listen to a sales-call right now. However, I do want to ask you something."
This way, they have the time and the warning to drop me! =D
I think that I'll order some pizzas, talk to them about their greatest hopes and dreams, and declare my undying love for them; although not necessarily in that order or with the same person. =^^=

An Inside Glimpse of My Personal Journal

I have started writing in my journal again!! I started when I was 10.
Let me tell you.
Six years appears to actually be a huge difference. For one, my handwriting was neater, my grammar and spelling was atrocious, and everything was seen from a very different perspective. (By which I mean that my life was needlessly complicated) I was also hell-bent on saving the dragons of the world. Yes, dragons. I have to admit though. I LOVE dragons. Always have always will.
Reading it made me also realize just how awesome Alena is now.
My goddess, she used to be unbearable.

....Okay. I am now going to do something a bit insane. I am going to show you the the cover and first pages of my childhood journal.

I started translating it in case you couldn't read it, but then I realized that I would probably die of shame if someone browsed through my blog, saw this, thought that I write like this now, and never come again. Or maybe I'd move to Alaska. No. Alaska is cold. Mexico? No, then I'd die in some other way probably not involving shame. ....Probably.




ANYWAY, that's my journal! And I'm writing in it again! W00T!!

Discworld, Epic Step-Moms, and the Art of Retracing One's Steps

I was woken up and taken to the park, where a group was playing Wagner. I sat and read Witches Abroad by Terry Prachett on the grass, letting the music work its way into the story. Just as I was getting into the plot, we got up to go. I put the book in my pocket, gathered most of our stuff, and headed out. After we had walked halfway through the downtown area, I realized that my book had fallen out of my pocket. Holly was really nice about it and helped me retrace my steps several times. When we didn't find it, she even took me to Bart's in the hopes that we could find it. We didn't (Prachett books are kind of hard to come by) but I am extremely grateful that Holly cared so much. I really wasn't expecting that I would be allowed to look.

Geek Day

Okay. Some of you may know that Geek Pride Day was on May 25. I told you that I'd blog about what I did on that day, but I didn't follow through with it. I'm here to make amends.

Geek Pride Day was disappointing for me.
I planned on going to watch MIB III with Dad and Holly, and wearing my towel 24/7.
It was not so.

We ended up going to my great-grandmother's house in Santa Barbra. Don't get me wrong- I love my grandmother and I have many May Twenty-Fifths ahead of me. I was just hoping to do something else on that day.
Anyway, I decided to wear:

• A towel (purple terrycloth with tiny tassels on the ends)
• My Community TShirt (Cooper got it for me)

• My leather wrist bracers (that I made)
• My utility belt (basically a huge multi-pocketed glorified fanny-pack)
• My D20 spiral necklace (also from Cooper)
• My blue lightsaber (hooked on the utility belt)
• 3D glasses (with the lenses popped out)
• My pocket protector (stuck in my back jeans pocket. I made it for the occasion. It's made of watercolor paper and silver duck tape, and it has "Good Omens" in red letters taped to it. Unfortunately, I forgot to put the front flap on it... Fail.) in which I put:
• A HB 2 wooden pencil
• A ballpoint pen
• A purple and black mechanical pencil
• A Pivot Precise V5 Rolling Ball pen, size: "fine."
• A little phillips screwdriver (with a purple-tinted transparent plastic handle)

I must add that my grandmother (my Dad's mother. Not my great-grandmother) was being cold to us since the day before. I think that it may have to do with Holly's pregnancy. She likes Holly, and she's very happy about the baby. She was even nice to us! Just as I was getting used to her being nice, she mentioned that our great-grandmother might be offended that Holly and Dad didn't get married before having a kid. She seemed really weird about the whole thing, and was convinced that my great-grandma wouldn't be okay with it. Dad called his grandma and told her and she was happy for them. My grandma, on the other hand, stayed strange for the whole day.

Anyway, as soon as I walked in to my great-grandmother's house, grandma gave me the cold shoulder.

"Great." I thought. She's being weird again.

After a while, my great-grandmother asked me if I was wearing glasses. I explained that there are 3D projectors now and that you have to wear special glasses and that I took them home then popped out the lenses. Then I explained why I was wearing such strange things. She was surprised to hear about the 3D movies, but she was okay with my costume.

We left for a restaurant after a few minuets. On the way out the door, my grandma stopped me. She approached me in that predatory way of hers: leaning forward, hands behind the back, face drawn in a portrait of lurking disappointment, and eyes shining darkly like a hawk's.

"Don't wear your towel to the restaurant." She said, eyes drilling into mine.

"Oh. Um, I think I'm going to. It's clean." I said. I was in full Hitchhiker mode and I wasn't going to relinquish my towel any time soon.

"Why?" She asked, menace growing in her voice.

"Because you have to know where your towel is." I replied, quoting from HHG2TG.

"Leave the towel." She demanded.

"Uh, I'm with them." I said, gesturing to Holly and Dad, who were standing right behind her. Dad carefully looked away and moved past us.

"Rahel, why are you wearing a towel?" She asked, taking a step closer. I leaned back.

"Because I am celebrating a holiday specific to my subculture." I said, standing straighter and looking her in the eye.

"Don't embarrass your grandmother." She said, referring to my great-grandmother. "Leave the towel."

With that, she slowly moved away.

With great reluctance, I took of my towel and laid it on a chair. It was one of the most difficult things that I had ever done. I had been wearing that towel all day. It was one of the first rules as a Hitchhiker.

I got my subtle revenge on the way to the parking lot though. When everyone was filed out, I said "Huh. I thought that the towel was the most normal thing I wore today. I mean, look! I have a pocket protector... A D20 necklace... A LIGHTSABER..."

To her extreme embarrassment, everyone laughed and agreed.

When we got out of the restaurant, the wind was moving like a freight train and I only had 2 shirts. It was FREEZING. I hadn't brought a sweater, jacket, cape, or any protective material of the like because  I was counting on my towel to protect me.

My teeth were chattering uncontrollably when we all got into the car.

When we came back, my towel was still there, unharmed although slightly crumpled. Thank the gods. I put it on and wore it for the rest of the day. I even slept with it to make sure that I had it near me until 12:00 AM.

HAPPY PAST GEEK DAY, EVERYONE!!

Well, that's my account of Geek Pride Day! If any of you did anything, PLEASE post it in the comments! We all want to know what you did! Don't be shy. I don't bite.

.....Much.


PS!! I might just re-dress in my Geek Getup and take pics sometime soon! We shall see. =^.~

Ventura College

Hello, fellow Earthicans! ...Hopefully I spelled that correctly.
For those of you who have read my post for 5/31/12, I just want to say that I am so sorry. The post made very little sense and was riddled with spelling and grammatical errors.
FORTUNATELY, Cooper saw it and told me that it was awful (naw, I'm just kiddin. He said that it needed to be edited.) so I edited it. Here it is.


...Okay. I suppose that those of you who actually read my blog are very miffed right now. Why didn't I post for almost a week when I said that I would? The truth is, I just didn't.
I'd like to pin it on the clowns. Or the mimes. Or gnomes. I really would love to to, but I won't. Most of you are pretty mature. I'll just tell you outright. I just plain out forgot to post. I was busy studying for the California High School Proficiency Exam. That's right, I'm leaving High School 2 years early, so
that I can get into college and do MORE school!
I am so happy right now. I feel like I've learned nothing interesting from home school. Sure, I know enough to be labeled as 'proficient,' but I don't want that. I didn't go through 10 years of (home) school to feel like I don't know anything interesting. I want to learn more about algebra! I want to memorize all mathematical formulas that use pi! I want to study sociology and maybe even dissect a few frogs!!
So I'm going to skip high school and its drama, clickyness, and getting suspended! (In my case, for creating alliances between all the minorities then going around taking revenge upon bullies. Don't you look at your screen that way. It would definitely happen if I ever went to Nordhoff.)
Instead going down that road, I'm going to go to Ventura College, choose my own classes, learn some awesome stuff, and maybe even make a few friends along the way. I definitely need more Players if I'm ever going to get my Community RPG off the ground. (It needs 2 DMs and 7 Players. Insane, but WORTH IT.)

I am totally looking forward to all this.


In other news, Holly's baby is a boy! We got to see the ultrasounds. I have three words for you: cute, yet disturbing.
The '3D' ultrasounds (which are really just really good quality- no 3D at all.) make him look like the Swamp Thing. I am not kidding. Holly hasn't decided on a name yet, so we all call him Smudge.
Now I can watch Transformers with him and not feel silly.... I've kinda always wanted to watch it, and now that I have access to such shows, I feel too old for it. XD

UP NEXT- GEEK DAY'S RECAP.