Connections Lost- An Open Letter

Sometimes I feel as if our relationship is strained.
It's like you no longer want to connect.
I've tried to refresh our connection over and over again
But you still give me that blank look
As if I've done something wrong.
Sometimes when I try to do something, you lag behind and leave me waiting.
I thought that you liked the Colbert Report.
I've stared at my screen for so long
Sitting on the edge of my seat
Waiting for you to give me some sign
That everything's all right
But you still don't show.
It's like you just don't wan't to do anything anymore.
Sometimes I have the urge to just disconnect
And join some other damn network.

Marvin I love you.

My Dad showed this to me today. I am battling the urge to cry.
..........So.......... sad........
__, ,__
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http://youtu.be/5ImiqaXBMkM

Numbers and Heart Break

I was reading more Full Frontal Nerdity and I came across this. I have been feeling sentimental since the beginning of October, (as you can see in my archive) and this did it for me. I could feel my heart break. You know when you can really FEEL your heart break? It HURTS. Bad.

I have always been really attached to fictional characters. I read my first book at age 3, and I've been reading since, so I have always found fictional friends easier to relate to then 'real' (ie. non-fictional) human friends. Not that I'm bagging on my human friends! I love you guys. It's just that I've had more fictional friends then 'real' humans, and I haven't had a friend since I was about 8/9 up until last year. I'm really happy that I have you humans, and I wouldn't trade you for anything, but I still get attached to non human and fictional people a lot. I mean, whenever I think of Harry Potter, my heart breaks. I couldn't finish the 7nth book after Hedwig died. It just hurt to much. Now I just try not to listen whenever people start talking about who dies. I just turn a frantically blind ear to it and steel myself for the familiar crunching sound as the little tinted glass shards of my heart are ground into my stomach. Then I try to forget what I heard, try to remember the characters I love so much as breathing and happy. There will always be a place for them in my heart where they can live, it's just that, whenever my heart breaks, I have to recollect them, mend my heart, seal them inside, and then steel myself for the next splintering. I guess that's the amazing thing about hearts. They're so accident prone, yet we keep 'em around. We even fix them back up in the full knowledge that they will break again. Strangeness.

Anyhoo, If you have read this far, I thank you (yeah, you! Over there! The Person Staring at Light-Pixels! HI!! =D) for reading all of this angst-ridden, emo insanity. (No offense meant to any emos! =^^=  It's just not usually in my nature to 'go emo,' if you'll excuse the term) It really helps me when I write this stuff down. I hope that I haven't depressed you too much, and I thank you again for reading my stuff. It means a whole lot to me. =)


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PS!! Disclaimer: I hold absolutely no rights to Full Frontal Nerdity. Aaron Williams does. I'm just a fan.
Here's the link to this FFN page. http://nodwick.humor.gamespy.com/ffn/index.php?date=2010-06-09
If you are a Nerd, Geek or Dork, or like gaming or comics, you MUST read FFN. Seriously. =)


Qapla!