Sweltering Lettuce and Caution Tape

Soooo. Long time, no see. What's it been, a week? Yikes.
WELL. To start this thing off with a bang, I'm gonna share something kinda morbid and fun that I wrote! Ready, kids? =D

I took a certain pride in being dead; lying (arms limp, breath held, mouth agape) in an imaginary pool of blood, yellow striped caution tape surrounding me like a foreboding web spun by a crack-addicted spider. People would hurry around me, police lights flashing across the limp and untroubled form. 

The picture was messy, but there was a peacefulness to it and I took to imagining my own death whenever possible.

All of this is, of course, a huge exaggeration; While I do find playing dead rather fun (just as I like imagining what it would feel like to have a pencil shoved through the eye), it isn't all I do and I have no wish to die. Although death doesn't terrify me (much), I rather like being alive and I would like to keep it that way. XD
Maybe this would make a good opening for a book.... Which reminds me.
I HAVEN'T BEEN WRITING. O_O
And I mean ANYTHING. No fanfics, no graphic novels, no blogging, no snippets of books, no coding.... Not even Twitter. ALL WEEK.
I HATE IT. I'm going to get in gear and BACK into writing. I'm going to go SWELTERING LETTUCE. ...Or something. What's the opposite of Cold Turkey? Fresh-cooked turkey? Fresh cooked steak? Raw steak??
Whatever it is, i'm gonna do it. XD