Doctor Who=Crack

Doctor Who is like a drug. It makes you feel like you're on top of the world one moment, then absolute crap the next- and you still keep coming back for more.

I just finished The Angels Take Manhattan. I have one thing to say:
F#CK YOU, MOFFAT, YOU WONDERFUL BASTARD!!

I cried my freaking eyes out SO MANY TIMES during this show. The least you could do is give me some time to heal!! And on TOP of all that, you have River and Eleven fight almost the entire episode?? Gawd, the grief you have given me... AND WHAT'S UP WITH YOU AND ROOFTOPS?? I will NEVER go on a roof EVER AGAIN.
Bloody sonovabitch.
...Can't turn the lights out, either. @_@

...Hallo?

Hey, all! I'm just here to say that I'm not dead, and that I'll be posting quite soon. I've been having an insane couple weeks. In the meantime, check this out!!
Not having been alive in the 80's, I only heard this today. I've only heard the new versions of this song. THEY SUCK.
THIS, on the other hand, ROCKS SOME SERIOUSLY BLINGED OUT SOCKS.
Enjoy. n_n

You Guys Really Shouldn't Take Me So Seriously

ATTENTION ALL.

A friend of mine has expressed some worry about my mental state after he read my last post. Let me just tell you once, people.

I am not going to commit suicide. It is stupid, selfish, and pointless, and I will never do it. I like you guys too much to put you through that.

So. Thank you for your concern. I'm sorry I put you through some stress. I just really needed to get that off my chest. Also, I am actually feeling much better now. I still feel weird, but it isn't so much like I'm an alien inside a body. ...At least not more then how it's always been.

So thank you. And remember: DON'T PANIC.

Meat-Suits and Monotony

Hello all. You may be wondering why I haven't been posting. I've been forgetting to actually do things lately. How do people actually hold themselves together plus a family?? I get the feeling I'll never have the chance to find out.

So yeah... I've been pretty depressed lately. It has a little to do with the extreme bouts of existential angst I've been going through. Or maybe it's just plain old insanity. Anyway, I have not been faring too well of late.

I haven't been dealing well with the first-person perspective that life has given me. I think it's weird that I have a body that needs feeding and care. I've always been pretty separated from it, but it's been getting a bit weird lately. Eating is a strange ordeal, a mixture of pleasure from refueling and disgust at the fact that I have to consume lifeforms. Poor little carrot...

I also think that it's weird that I'm not omnipresent. Maybe this is why I like reading so much. I can walk away into a world where I can see, touch, smell, and taste everything, yet disturb nothing. It is, quite literally, an open book to me. Then here I am, with my limited eyes and hearing, floating around in this meat-body, trying to look at things! It's very frustrating. People keep catching me staring at them, trying to remember their faces, their emotions, what they're going through on their path of life. And they dislike it. They really do. They look at me from the corners of their eyes and shift away as if I might bite them. I should think that my interest in them would be seen as a compliment, but no. They act as if I am intruding upon their privacy- just by looking at them.

I suppose that it would be creepy to see someone stare at you as if they want to experience the world through you. I can't really help it, though. Every so often, usually when I have panic attacks, I realize just how SMALL it is in here. If I let myself go, I realize just how tiny the world inside of me is. It's usually comfortable, but when I'm distressed, it feels like a prison. It's dark. It's terrifying. It's confusing. And it's lonely. I am so lonely in here. I have my friends, but they feel fleeting. I know that it's just that I forget to put aside time for them, but I keep expecting for them to disappear.

Nothing is permanent. I know this. So it shouldn't bug me that I'm stuck. It'll be over soon anyway. It still gets to me, though. I don't like being trapped in this first-person meat-suit. It's too small.

Vanilla

Lately I've heard people say things like "Their favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla..." when trying to accent someone's blandness.
To that, I say... BULLSHIT.
Who decided that liking Vanilla automatically makes you bland? I say, judge people not by their favorite ice cream flavor, but how their display their favoritism!
Let's take a look at what these vanilla-loving people will look like in 80+ years, shall we?

Commando Nuns

I walked out of the bathroom last Monday with something important weighing on my mind. I made my way through the tiny hall and stuck my head around the corner. Mom was sitting at the living room table, cutting out small paper circles for her kindergarten class on Tuesday.
“Hey! Hey Mom! If you had a cowl like Emperor Palpatine’s, would you go commando?”
There was a pause only interrupted by faint snipping noises.
“What’s a cowl?”
I thought for a moment. “It’s like a monk’s robe-thingy. Like Palpatine wears.”
“Um,” She said, pausing to think. “Yes.”
I was relieved. “Awesome! So would I. I’d be all like-” Here I swaggered around, giving off the “Haha, I have more room down here then you do!” air.
“In fact, I bet the nuns do that too.” She continued, stopping me in my mock-pompous tracks.
“WHAT.”
“Yeah! Wouldn't you?” She said, going back to her project.
I let out a strangled cry and dove for my computer. “INTERNET. NOW.”
...And so you have this.

PS!! If anyone reading this is a nun, my Mom wants to know if you really DO go commando. And if so, when? Even during your nun-fu classes? Every day except Sunday? Only Sunday? Weekdays? Week starts? Only the prime-numbered days?
We mean no offence. We just want to know. =)

ANGST FICS O_____O

Well, there goes all MY self-dignity. Seriously, why do I read this stuff if I KNOW it's going to reduce me to a blubbering mess???
Sherlock fic- Alone On the Water
Damn you, angst-fics... T_T