Weak

My two best friends were not in school today. One is probably sleeping in, sick, or catching up on schoolwork. Cooper, the other one, is in New York. Was in New York. He's back today, and I'll get to see him (I'm thinking we should try out that D&D chess I'm designing), but he wasn't in school.
I know many people at my school. I've even kind of become friends with them (albeit by accident), but I'm still very afraid to get close.
So it kind of shocked me when I started to feel really lonely when the only other girl my age left for her house today. I usually don't get along with her very well (she does dumb stuff sometimes. Like take my things and hold them over my head.), but I really felt sad that she was leaving. So just before she walked out, I hugged her and said "Oh my God, I am so lonely! Goodbye." She was quite shocked (everyone knows that hugs tend to terrify me) and hugged me back. Then she said that she'd see me Thursday and walked away.

So I take it I really do need my friends to remain sane. Pretty strange. Just 2 years ago, I would have been perfectly fine on my own. I'd even prefer it.

I think the worst part about all this is that I feel embarrassed and weak from all of this. I love my friends, but I always felt secure in the knowledge that I actually didn't need them to function.

Except when I started having dreams about making friends. Those were sad. Although I always had to wake up in the end, I never forgot them. Like that one girl I met in a dream when I was about 7. I actually remember her last look. I never quite got her name, either.

I wonder if she misses me.

Of Fluffy Bunnies and Mental Scarring

Hey people! I'm sorry I haven't been posting as often lately!! I'm trying, really I am. There just hasn't really been much new with the Rats of Mommika (go here and here if you missed the posts!), no household appliances have been in extreme need of exorcism, and I've been getting further into D&D and schoolwork. (I'm DM! And I'm kinda, sorta, maybe, learning more stuff. For those of you interested, the dandwiki has helped me tremendously. =^^=)
Anyway, here's the post that you may or may not have been waiting for....


Yesterday, I was browsing through images to put on the front of my new Homemade!DM Screen. As I browsed, I saw this picture.

I thought that it was one of the funnier things I'd seen, so I saved it to my Desktop. When I took a second look at the picture though, something stirred deep within me. I even got a visual of a monster rising from a heap of ash, the grey pools shifting and moving, giving way to something clearer and definitely more sinister. (Maladaptive Daydreaming for-the-win!! =D) ....I'm guessing I got it from the original Dune movie, but i can't be sure. Anyway, I instantly felt sad and strangely wistful. The feeling stayed as I looked at it (instead of skittering away like most strange remembrances do).
I showed the picture to my Dad, and he said that it was from Watership Down. My awesome friend had come over last year, and told me about this book. It sounded very sad, bloody, and interesting, so (of course) I remembered it.
Funny how all these little things are connected.

It turns out that my Mom rented Watership Down for me when I was around 4. She thought that it was a children's story about cute fluffy bunnies.... Hah.
She got the cute fluffy bunny part, but failed to realize that it wasn't exactly suited for children. I looked on youtube for the trailer, and oh man. I totally remember this. THIS explains my wariness of rabbits... Well, that and watching that part with the Killer Rabbit from 'Monty Python's King Arthur and the Holy Grail.' (Also showed to me by my Mom. Correlation? Maybe. XD) ...OH YEAH. And having a really-scary-once-feral-pet-rabbit-with-really-sharp-teeth running around my yard for years.... We named him Max. ...After Max Shrek. He belonged to our neighbors before he escaped. Over and over again. We caught him and gave him back each time, but after a while they decided that he was safer with us, so we kept him. Our neighbors raised him with cats, so he liked to eat cat food. He'd also play with our cats. He was really sweet and gentle... Before he hit puberty.
PARENTS. You think that your teenager is bad? Try taking care of one that literally runs up to you and BITES on to your pants-leg and shakes their head like a bull-dog. (SEE? SEE?? THIS is one reason I ALWAYS wear denim jeans thought ALL SEASONS. So nyeh!)
Anyhoo, after about a year, he mellowed out. ....Kinda. He was still a bit strange in the head... And I wouldn't turn my back on him for a millisecond. He died several years ago, and I haven't seen him since.
OoHh! Really scary mental image of a Zombie Bunny there...
Zombunny wants braaains......

^       ^

|  |  |  |

\O _ X /

[|]

U        U

‘ ‘ ‘    ‘ ‘ ‘

           x          P

U       U

......Back to the Watership Down thread!
*Ahem.* Yes. Well. I researched a bit, and found that there is such a thing as Bunnies and Burrows (hehe. B&B), and it was based off Watership Down...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bunnies_%26_Burrows
I even found a character sheet! =^.~
ALSO, this dude wrote a post on the game! =D
http://apaladinincitadel.blogspot.com/2011/05/bunnies-burrows-rpg.html
Thanks dude! =^^=

Phew! I guess that's about it... Losing ranting-steam.
... Ooo. Steampunk-Ranting-Rahel....
Aw darn.
That silly point is hitting again. When I get tired, I pass through different stages and mood-swings. This is when my humor takes a turn for the worst.... er. Ish. Ness. Okay, I'm gonna publish this and be done with it. BEFORE IT GETS SERIOUS. O_O
Goodnight! o^^o